A Moment of Calm

I long for calm. But the more I look for it, the more elusive it becomes. Like a dream you try to remember the minute you wake up, the more you try, the more it dissolves from your memory. Slipping from your fingers like fine grains of sand. Calm is, transparent and invisible. Calm is not easy.

There are beautiful birds inside my head. But they keep flying in all directions, back and forth. I wish that they would slow down so that I can admire them. Close my eyes and touch one of them, a white dove. Feel the soft feathers on my fingertips and stay there for a moment.

But I’m a worrying machine playing with other machines. Time is measured in number of clicks per minute. Time is measured in quantity of interactions. Time is measured by achieving, not by experiencing. If you touch the bird you will make it late for its next destination.

I have felt calm before. It comes only when you decide to ignore the birds. When instead of the birds you’re looking at the space between them. You’re looking at the air. And then the air becomes beautiful. It starts pulsating with different colours. The air becomes more important than the birds. Because the air is everything.